Harvest Highway Part 2: Greenwich/ Wolfville

If you missed my last post, I began explaining how I gave my two year old a crash course in agri-tourism by visiting seven farms along the 101 Highway through Annapolis Valley. The last post discussed Windsor, and in this one we will explore two of the most famous farm hot-spots: Noggins and Elderkins. 

Have a look at the map:

What you will do is follow the 101 Northwest until, like a cheap computer game from the 80's, the highway bumps into a geographical boundary and everybody veers west. Take Exit 11. Take the Greenwich Connecting road and turn left at the lights to get to Noggins Corner Farm. There it is, on the right! You made it.

Noggins

Hot Fries line. Shoulda packed a picnic.

Now, writing about popular attractions always creates a paradox for me. On one hand, Noggins has crowds and all the problems that come with crowds: waiting, parking, the corn stand running out of corn, and other people's kids knocking my kid down.  But on the other hand, finding a massive throng of pumpkin pickers and apple eaters means that, duh, lots of people love Noggins. And you probably will too.

A view of the Orchard

 Noggins is the one-stop shop of farms. They have...ready for it? Corn maze, slides, sandbox, water pumps, photo area, tire mountain, hay bales, rope web, rope maze, washer toss, picnic area, food stands, fresh corn cobs, popcorn, cider, haunted house, pumpkin house, u-pick apples, u-pick pumpkins, u-pick flowers, u-pick herbs,  hay wagon rides, geo-caching, walking trails, a farm market. The view from the orchard is picturesque. And the staff are helpful, friendly and well organized.

Hay Bales

Rope Spider Web

If you have kids age three and older I wouldn't hesitate to recommend Noggins, with a word of advice: Tackle the orchard before you enter the play area. I can't even count the number of parents I heard pleading with their children to leave the Fun Zone Distraction Zone to go have a look at some trees. A corn maze is not the place you want to be when your little monsters are having a ball and trying to elude you. I used to play in corn fields myself as a kid and I can attest that they are super fun and a great family challenge. Especially compared to a potato maze, if there is such a thing.

Corn Maze 2012

Water pumps.

Noggins with toddlers is a different story, given their fickle nature. Even though kids two and under get into the attractions for free, Mom and Dad (or parent and partner, let's be modern) will have to shell out $18.40 for what might amount to the most expensive 20 minutes your child ever spent in a sandbox. The haunted house is too scary. The rope course confounds most little ones- they can go right under the ropes and they can play this game at a bank for free. The tire mountain, rope spiderweb and haystacks are okay if you have a wee climber and can find an opening where there are no big kids to step on your toddler's head. Blue gave the water pumps a try but lacked the height and dexterity to use them, and the slides (made of massive black industrial pipes) are a little terrifying for some.

That leaves the corn maze, which I could go wrong in so many ways I could write a whole post about it.  Think about getting lost, or getting lost holding a 30 lb child who won't stop saying "up," getting lost and your child needing a new diaper or clean clothes and won't stop saying "up," or getting lost while your child ducks in between the corn but you're too big to fit, yet you forge on anyway getting turned around and creating your own crop circles. Better just wander into the corn long enough to take a family photo and then get out and buy a cob for $1.50. Why go into the corn when you can put the corn into you?

 Now what am I forgetting? Oh, the produce picking! See how distracting that fun zone can be? To be honest, I didn't even pick apples or pumpkins here this year because I did it last year, had a blast, and took photos, which I will recycle, and admit to doing so lest you think Blue has a Benjamin Button thing happening.

Oopsy.

There are over fifty varieties of apples here. We ate at least one of each. My favourite was Empire. They also have the "Delicious" varieties, which everyone loves. Other than that your apple picking experience is about on par with the other farms. If it has rained in the last couple days or might rain, bring mud gear. The hay rides are non-optional if you are picking; they bring you down into the orchard. This means that you will be at the mercy of the comings and goings of the wagon. This is a lousy time to have a diaper blow out or muddy pants (especially if you must sit your child on your lap on the way back). So my suggestion is to either bring your little tot's survival kit with you, or else check out one of the other U-picks where you can park adjacent to the orchard.

 Elderkin's

Due east along the Evangeline trail is Elderkin's. It is only a couple minutes from Noggins but is technically in Wolfville, not Greenwich. The store was bustling with visitors and it wasn't difficult to see why. In addition to produce, they also sell soft serve ice cream and delicious home-baked goods. There's a reason for the expression "selling like hot cakes." Baked confections straight from the oven are something worth lining up for. When I made some lame comment like "popular spot, eh?" the smiling employee told me that people come from miles around, especially on weekends, sometimes for the baked beans alone.  So then I had to buy some and see for myself. Not that I got to have much, Blue took one bite and declared, "This is mine."

I sneaked some when she wasn't looking, though, and yes, they delivered. Large kidney beans, not too sweet or too watery- just perfect. And they are served with homemade brown bread. We also sampled some seafood chowder that was just the way I like it- hearty and brothy and full of big chunks of good stuff. Not over thickened with flour or over fattened with cream. And it comes with a homemade bun as well. I also bought some cheesy rolls and some confection items- I couldn't help myself- and it was all fresh and fantastic, everything you want in home-baked goods.

The staff at Elderkin's are wonderful. (Bear in mind, I never tell anyone I'm writing about them, because I want a real customer experience.) When I asked what the chowder was like– I always ask because I've been ripped off by cheap canned stuff too many times– the employees at the cash actually introduced me to the chef who took the time to explain her recipe with a lot of flair and pride. I also had a brief conversation with Aaron, one of the Elderkin Clan, who confidently explained why people keep coming back. "It's been established since 1996," he says. "People know the name now. And they want ice cream and bakery items which they can't get everywhere. And all our recipes are made from scratch with fresh ingredients," he says.

While Elderkin's doesn't have all the attractions that its neighbours offer, this young Elderkin is super cordial about the competition. "We don't have a playground just now," he says, "but they have those things up at Noggins to bring families into the area and that's great. We get families with young children too. There's enough business to go around." He says they may consider adding a play structure in the future. For now, Blue is satisfied to select a pink picnic table from the rainbow of tables and eat her beans in the orchard. We've never had a more picturesque picnic.

And while Elderkin's may not have a slide or a spiderweb, what they do have is over a hundred acres of U-pick pears and apples. They also have a darling little pumpkin patch right beside the road, which is very convenient if you aren't keen on hauling large pumpkins long distances. Bring a bag or a cart though; it's hard to juggle a child and a pumpkin at the same time while crossing a busy road like you're playing Frogger.

Elderkin's Pumpkin Patch

One last thing that I like about Elderkin's is that they have a different price system depending on if your U-Pick bag is opened or closed. So if you choose not to fill your whole 10 lb bag, you will pay only $7 instead of $11 for a bag stuffed to the max. So there is no pressure to jam it full and carry 15lbs or toppling apples around. Parents carry and drop enough stuff as it is.

So between Noggins and Elderkins, my final verdict is this: If you have very young kids that might not be ready for an undertaking as large as Noggins, Elderkin's is your better bet. You can come and go on your own time, you won't have to fork over $9.20 for your kid to eat sand and get trampled, and you can get yourself some ice cream. You deserve it.

If you have adventurous kids who are ready for the fun zone at Noggins, you will have a blast there.  If it's drizzling or damp, even better. Bring a towel, jump in puddles, and have more of the place to yourself. And hey, there's no reason why you can't do both farms. Why not spend the afternoon having lunch and picking herbs and pumpkins at Noggins, then head down the road to Elderkin's for apple picking and a delicious home-baked supper?  That's my definition of a perfect day.

Noggins Market

Next stop: Port Williams

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Tantrum - Dr. Toughlove

Crying because the cat didn't notice her hat and beads

I work with toddlers so I've seen all kinds of temper tantrums, or "meltdowns" as parents so affectionately call them.  There is an infinite number of reasons why a child might be flying into a rage: They were denied a cookie, they saw a bug, somebody touched their arm with their finger, their sock felt wrong, etc.  I'm sure you can think of fifty off the top of your head, and if you have a two-year-old, they might be just from today. And there are a lot of resources which will tell you how to handle each case.

But while reading about human development and child psychology,  I have learned some things that suggest there are not really a million kinds of tantrums. They follow a pattern. I'm going to break them down into three categories here: Fatigue, Fear and Frustration, and Extinction Burst. There is some overlap between them but in my experience, understanding which one my child is experiencing can either help me remain calm throughout it, or at the very least make it more interesting to witness.

Fatigue

All parents are familiar with fatigue, so I won't go into detail about that, other than to say when a child is tired, the thing their temper is flaring over isn't really the thing. When kids fly into a rage because they were not permitted to eat glue or lick light bulbs, most parents know that it's time for a nap, not time for a detailed rational summary of all the potential hazards of glue and light bulbs. Knowing that the content of the tantrum isn't the same as the reason for it can help you save your breath if you can identify a fatigue tantrum. And if you still want to talk about the dangers of light bulbs, just make a note and bring it up later when your child is well rested and attentive.

Fear and Frustration

The second category refers to situations where children are at a loss for how to handle a social situation which they are not in command of (frustration), or they are experiencing emotions that are too big for their level of control (fear, or in some cases, anger). For example: another child takes their toy so they become aggressive. Or you take them to visit a relative they've never met and they are so afraid you have to pry their hands off the door jamb with a crowbar.  So what's going on here?  I like to call this an "emotional puzzle" and here's why.

When Early Childhood Educators want to make sure that their curriculum is balanced, they look each of the categories of development with the acronym SPLICE: Social/ Physical/ Linguistic/ Intellectual/ Cognitive/ Emotional.  Each category has modes of facilitating learning. For physical learning adults provide children with sports equipment, or fine motor activities like markers.  For cognitive learning, adults provide children with things like puzzles. For linguistic and intellectual learning, we give children books and we talk to them, among other things.  What happens in each category is that children encounter obstacles.  They miss the ball, they colour outside the lines, they put a puzzle piece in upside down, they try to speak but they say things like "I swimmed" or "pasgetti." Adults generally understand that all these errors are part of the learning process, and in many cases we find their little mistakes adorable.

Oops, forgot the torso.

So what happens in the social and emotional categories?  It isn't any different in terms of facilitating learning; adults provide group games (tag, I spy, etc) and toys that require cooperation (teeter-totters, soccer ball) in order to give children an opportunity to develop social and emotional skills. But the obstacles that children encounter in these categories are notably less pleasant in nature than obstacles in the others.  A child screaming "I had it first! It's mine it's mine!" is not as endearing as a child drawing a person with no torso.  And humans have a natural inclination to react emotionally when another human is doing the same, even if it's irrational.  That's why you hear exasperated parents shouting things like "Don't grab!" or "You're being selfish!"  or "Calm down! It's just a bug!"

Sooo... close. Here, just let me do it!

Psychologists are now telling us that a certain level frustration is healthy for children.  While it's normal to share their feelings, a better way to handle this kind of tantrum is to think of it as a learning opportunity. In the same manner you would say to a child "that puzzle piece is upside down. Try turning it,"  you can offer an emotional child an alternative behaviour to help them handle it next time. Either before the tantrum erupts, or if it's too late for that, after the tantrum has subsided and you have already dealt any necessary consequences, just tell the child, "next time try saying to your friend 'you can have this toy when I'm done'. And if they don't listen you walk away and tell a grown up." (If you have a very young or less verbal child you might have to whittle it down to "tell him 'no, not done'.")

Blue at a party.

Also keep in mind that there might be some experiences that are out of your child's range of emotional ability. For some kids, sitting on Santa's lap might be like giving them a 1000 piece puzzle.  You might need to accept that they are not ready for some things yet, and throw that activity into the "try again later" pile.  And that's okay. Alternatively, you can reduce the situation to something manageable, and assist your child one step at a time, the same way you would provide a puzzle they can do with assistance.  For example, at a birthday party one day my very shy daughter was getting overwhelmed and a tantrum was looming. So I had to talk her through it.  "We'll do three things.  First we'll put the present on the table, then go sit in the chair and eat some cake, then we'll get a balloon. And if it's still scary we'll go home." 

Children do not develop at the same rate in all categories, so don't compare your child to another one.  While another child may appear to be even tempered and empathetic, he might not be able to kick a ball or hold a pencil.  But he will one day.  And a child who is reading by age three might fly into a rage when somebody looks at her funny. But her temper will improve one day.  There is no "right" order when it comes to categories of development.

All kids are have redeeming qualities, if not a high emotional quotient. Except maybe Caillou.

Extinction Burst

This is a topic my husband brought up one night as we listened to our two-year-old bawling and screaming from her bedroom because we were weaning her off co-sleeping.  "This is just an extinction burst," he said, all academically.  He reminded me that this was the often forgotten-about part of Operant conditioning.  So what the heck does this mean?

B.F. Skinner

For the uninitiated, I'll give a brief Behaviorism for Dummies:  Psychologists like Pavlov and Skinner dealt with human behaviour as a series of conditioned responses, i.e. we do things because we're rewarded and we don't do things when we're penalized for them.  We eat because it makes us feel good and we wear shoes because rocks hurt. The system of cue–response–reward is what's commonly known as a habit, and it forms the basis for most of the things we do, not including the deliberate and rational actions we take.  Since young children don't usually think rationally, almost everything they do is the result of either a reflex or a habit. So for example if you give your child a cookie every time he cries, you will teach him to cry.  If you refuse to give him a cookie, he will eventually not cry for one anymore. This is mostly common sense. 

But does it happen instantly?  Of course not! The first time you say, "we're out of cookies..."  Tantrum! The first few times you leave him at daycare? Tantrum!  The first time you tell her "no soother?" Tantrum!  Maybe even the second and third time? Tantrum!  So what's going on? This is what's knows as an extinction burst. Literally, a burst of a behaviour that is about to become extinct because the reward is removed. When a habit is broken, the part of the brain that connects the cue with the response and reward (the basal ganglia, if you care), will fire off one extreme last-ditch effort to keep the old habit going. This is what makes you cheat on your diet, start smoking again, or click your mouse like crazy after your computer has frozen up.  The craving becomes overwhelming because your brain is sending the signal over and over that the cue demands a response now. In the case of my daughter wanting me to sleep in her bed, her little brain is telling her "yell, and she'll come back. If not, yell like a banshee! Ask to go potty! Ask for a hug! Ask for hot chocolate! Panic!"

The good news is that once the reward is removed, and once the extinction burst is over, the tantrums will stop.  Your child's brain will delete the programming that tells them they must follow hunger with sugar or loneliness with "mommy only", or distress with a soother.  They will find something else to replace it, for example healthy food, a caregiver, or a different method of self-soothing.

The controversy between the "crying-it-out" sleep training method and other "gentle" methods may stem from the fact that a child's frantic plea may be an extinction burst or it may actually be a genuine need for human contact. It's different from child to child. If you, as a parent, feel that your child is legitimately terrified of being left alone in a helpless state, crying-it-out may not be for you. You may feel that your child is confused and may be emotionally damaged if left to cry to early. But in other cases, your child may be crying simply because last night they cried and it earned them a snuggle. In this case it is not fear or an emotional need that fuels the outburst, so much as a want and a habit. 

In my personal opinion, if your child is so young that you don't know whether they are experiencing an actual need or just an extinction burst, I would err on the side of indulging them.  Experts say you can't spoil a child under 12 months. And once you know your child is ready to break a habit, armed with this information you can help them break it and endure the extinction burst at a time when you're both ready for it.  

Now it sounds like I'm claiming to be all rational about tantrums all the time. You might picture me watching my child, all dispassionate, while she throws herself on the ground and I take out a notebook or my camera while nodding and saying "hmm... this is all very interesting."  Sometimes I do that, just as sometimes a lot of moms laugh at the absurdity of the tantrum.  But just to be clear, once in a while, in the heat of the moment I can get very exasperated as a parent and sometimes I make mistakes, or raise my voice out of frustration.  

But I forgive myself.  And so should you.  

The facts about tantrums I have passed onto you are helpful in those times, later on, when you're reflecting on the day and wondering, "Am I being a good parent?"  You'll find that most of the time the answer is yes.  Because there is being informed about psychology and then there's being human. And in the times when you are being very human with your child, that's just another emotional puzzle for your child to master.  How do you help them solve it? You say, "I'm Sorry. Mommy got frustrated. Will you forgive me?"

Cole Harbour Salt Marsh Trail

Cole Harbour Salt Marsh Trail:  Bissett Road to Canada Goose Bridge

First a downer: I find most of the trails in HRM to be disappointing (sad trombone, wah wahhh). The reason for that is because I'm from New Brunswick, the picture province. In New Brunswick if there's a trail it generally goes somewhere wonderful. To a waterfall, a cave, a lake, a tall forest, a Dairy Queen, etc. In HRM the trails tend to be more about quantity (length) than quality (scenery). While this can be great for marathon trainers and people who need the long distance, people with young kids know that "long distance," as in "long distance from food, bathroom, television set," might not be a good thing. Long distance also means there will be long stretches of trail that your kids will find BOOOR–ING unless they enjoy rocks, short, dead underbrush and in some cases the backs of industrial buildings.

So when hiking with little ones, unless you just want them to nap in a stroller, you need to find a section of trail that has some interesting features. Enter the exciting bit of the Cole Harbour Salt Marsh Trail, which looks like this:

Now I'll admit I haven't been all the way across the salt marsh on this trail. Partly because it's a longer hike than I care to try with toddlers (they're satisfied to go to the bridge and back), and partly because I think one would need an all-terrain stroller to get past Canada Goose Bridge. (If you've gone beyond, I'd appreciate comments on this!)

The section between the big red star (Trail Head) and the Canada Goose Bridge is the part we like best.

Here's what I love about the Salt Marsh, in a pleasing bullet format:

• It's a wonderful sensory experience. There's the smell of the salty air, the evergreens, and wild roses, among other things. Then there's the varied terrain: smooth road, bumpy road, rough road. My kid likes to go "aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh" as we go over the crushed gravel. Up to the Canada goose bridge it's not prohibitively rough, but just enough produce vibrations that will soothe almost any kid to sleep.
 

Rough road, smooth bridge.

• The scenery is varied. First there is dense forest, then marsh, then open water and islands; a little bit of everything in one short walk.

• There's plenty of wildlife, including sea birds, but in the morning sometimes it's so quiet all you will hear is your own thighs rubbing together. I'm not sure if that's a good thing.

Quiet enough to hear a squirrel fart.

• The people who use this trail are very friendly. I don't know if it's the neighbourhood or if the salt marsh just puts people in a good mood, but EVERYONE I meet on this trail says hello.  Once I lost my keys on the bridge without noticing, and a kind person biked them back to me.  On another occasion I lost my phone here (I know, I know, careless. But it was two years in between and the bumpy road makes things fall out of my pockets.) Anyway, a gentleman found it and tracked me down at home that night.

Blue and her friends kicking one another under the gold leaves of autumn.

• There is a bathroom near the bridge end of this section of trail. Well, it's an outhouse. But it's clean, and quite necessary for the recently potty trained, or pregnant or nursing moms who need to pee a lot. 

• I'm told that this trail is great for bikes if you have a bike trailer, although I haven't tried it myself. 

• There are not as many dogs as other trails, which could be either a plus or a minus depending on how much you like dogs. Either way, there's less chance of stepping in poo, and the dog owners I have met are curteous and generally clean up after their pets.

• There are plenty of places to stop and enjoy the view, including little semi-private areas which are great for picnics. 

• Little kids LOVE the arched bridges. I have noticed that toddlers just love to run up the side of one thing and down the other side. Just be careful that they stay out of the way of cyclists (which are few and far between most days), and that they aren't small or quick enough to slip between the boards into the water. The current is quite strong! 

Up, then down. Then up, then down. Great exercise!

• I find that the construction of the trail, which is mostly raised or densely treed on the sides, allows me to let toddlers loose to walk beside the stroller without fear of them wandering into the woods. It's not steep enough that I'm worried they'll fall, but it's clearly defined enough that they have an understanding of which way they are supposed to walk. This is good because the signs indicate poison ivy, although I've never seen any.

Blue and her friend stay on track

• This walk can be done in under an hour, so if you're making a day of Cole Harbour, you can pair the trail with a visit to Rainbow Haven Beach, or Cole Harbour Heritage Farm, or the PACT centre. Sometimes I like to take this trail to get the kids to nap for a while before doing one of the other activities. Other times I just do it to kill time while waiting for the farm or PACT to open.

So pretty I can even forgive Nova Scotia for its scrawny little trees.

Directions: If you've been to Rainbow Haven Beach via Bissett Road but you haven't been to the Salt March, you have driven right by it! When you go down Bissett Road, you will see three places on your left for hikers to park. The first one is at an open space with rolling hills, the second a large squarish parking lot, and the third a small lot with enough room for one line of vehicles. All are marked with signs for the trail, but this third one is where you want to enter for the most best scenery. If you get to the log yard you've gone too far.

Your Kids Will Be Okay (A Mantra for First-World Moms)

Your babies can grow up to be a happy, healthy, successful people, even if they weren't born in a pool, or with a doula, or in a "natural" manner.

Natural Childbirth

Your babies will still have good hygiene if they wear disposable diapers.

Is it disposable? It is now.

Your  babies will learn to eat food, even if it comes from a jar and not from home grown organic food made in a special blender you bought off an infomercial.

Your toddlers will learn to speak even without sign language flash cards.

Oh, so that's what you're asking for  ...No.

Your toddlers will learn to walk even if their shoes don’t require batteries.

When your kid bangs them together at nap time, it will be a treat for the daycare teacher's eyes and ears!

Your kids will still love you if you stink at Pinterest.

Your kids will learn their names even if you don’t put them on their walls in hand-painted wooden letters.

"No, that's Konner with a K. No, a K.  K-O-N-... let me just get my plaque and show you."

Your kids can learn to read books, even if you don't get them a reading nook or an indoor hammock.

Are you kidding me?

They will learn to enjoy meals even if they never have a sandwich shaped like a grand piano.

What, only one carrot?

Your kids will develop self awareness, even if they grow up never knowing what the shape of their foot used to look like.

Um.. salt dough disintegrates outside, right? 

They will still be beautiful, even if you don't make your own hair accessories.

Why are there bees following me, Mom?

Your kids will learn to colour, even if you don't melt your crayons into pumpkin shapes.

Phew, problem solved! Now what was the problem, again?

They will be naturally creative, even if your house isn’t brimming with craft supplies.

Sorted by colour no less. I'm guessing this is the "before" picture.

They can still learn about the great outdoors, even if you don’t build a papier-mâché tree in the house.

Why wood someone do this? I'm stumped.

They will enjoy their first birthday, even if you only give them one cake, and even if you buy it. And even if you're having so much fun you forget to take a photo.

Your kids will survive without this thing...

Happy Mother's day! Here's a coaster.

...or this thing

Just don't let them see this. Or they'll want a concussion, too.

And your kids will know them you love them, even without notes on their lunch.

This is only a-peeling to pear-ents

But if your kids still don't appreciate you, there's always this affirmation-dispensing baby doll head who thinks you're fantastic.

Your kids will love you,  unconditionally, even if you're not crafty, trendy, or rich.

 

Remember, nobody's perfect.

A little down time. It's a good thing.

Your kids will love what you do for them, even if it's not what other moms are doing.

And if you do everything on this list anyway, your kids will be okay, too.