Your Kids Will Be Okay (A Mantra for First-World Moms)

Your babies can grow up to be a happy, healthy, successful people, even if they weren't born in a pool, or with a doula, or in a "natural" manner.

Natural Childbirth

Your babies will still have good hygiene if they wear disposable diapers.

Is it disposable? It is now.

Your  babies will learn to eat food, even if it comes from a jar and not from home grown organic food made in a special blender you bought off an infomercial.

Your toddlers will learn to speak even without sign language flash cards.

Oh, so that's what you're asking for  ...No.

Your toddlers will learn to walk even if their shoes don’t require batteries.

When your kid bangs them together at nap time, it will be a treat for the daycare teacher's eyes and ears!

Your kids will still love you if you stink at Pinterest.

Your kids will learn their names even if you don’t put them on their walls in hand-painted wooden letters.

"No, that's Konner with a K. No, a K.  K-O-N-... let me just get my plaque and show you."

Your kids can learn to read books, even if you don't get them a reading nook or an indoor hammock.

Are you kidding me?

They will learn to enjoy meals even if they never have a sandwich shaped like a grand piano.

What, only one carrot?

Your kids will develop self awareness, even if they grow up never knowing what the shape of their foot used to look like.

Um.. salt dough disintegrates outside, right? 

They will still be beautiful, even if you don't make your own hair accessories.

Why are there bees following me, Mom?

Your kids will learn to colour, even if you don't melt your crayons into pumpkin shapes.

Phew, problem solved! Now what was the problem, again?

They will be naturally creative, even if your house isn’t brimming with craft supplies.

Sorted by colour no less. I'm guessing this is the "before" picture.

They can still learn about the great outdoors, even if you don’t build a papier-mâché tree in the house.

Why wood someone do this? I'm stumped.

They will enjoy their first birthday, even if you only give them one cake, and even if you buy it. And even if you're having so much fun you forget to take a photo.

Your kids will survive without this thing...

Happy Mother's day! Here's a coaster.

...or this thing

Just don't let them see this. Or they'll want a concussion, too.

And your kids will know them you love them, even without notes on their lunch.

This is only a-peeling to pear-ents

But if your kids still don't appreciate you, there's always this affirmation-dispensing baby doll head who thinks you're fantastic.

Your kids will love you,  unconditionally, even if you're not crafty, trendy, or rich.

 

Remember, nobody's perfect.

A little down time. It's a good thing.

Your kids will love what you do for them, even if it's not what other moms are doing.

And if you do everything on this list anyway, your kids will be okay, too.